5 Facts You Should Know about Asexuality for Asexual Awareness Week

To celebrate Asexual Awareness week or Ace Week (October 20 — 26), we’ve put together a list of 5 facts everyone should know about asexuality and the asexual community.

One of the lesser talked about communities within the LGBTQIA+ community is the ‘A’ – which stands for asexuality.

Someone who identifies as asexual or uses the term ‘ace’ is typically someone who feels little to no sexual attraction to others.

The definition is often misconstrued due to uncertainty and lack of awareness.

1. Asexuality Has Been Around For a Long Time

Asexuality it is real and valid, and it’s certainly not a trend, an internet buzzword or a myth from Tumblr.

Although the term was cemented only in the 70s, the concept has existed long before. In the 1860’s, the closest mention was ‘monosexuals’ , or those who only satisfied themselves sexually, by a Hungarian doctor. 

In 1972, feminist Lisa Orlando created the Asexual Manifesto which coined the term for those who are not ‘celibate’ or ‘anti-sex’ but do not sexually relate with anyone. Although Orlando’s definition has been discarded, as it does not align with the community, it was pivotal in starting  the movement. 

As time passed, more open communities formed in 2000 with the accessibility of David Jay’s AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) which served as a forum for aces to connect, educate and facilitate growth for their community.

2. Aces Are Regularly Discriminated Against

Asexuality is very often dispelled as a ‘phase’ (sound familiar?) where they just ‘haven’t found the right person’ or people who simply can’t and won’t have sex due to mental health issues or medication.

With many holding the belief that sexual desire is intrinsic in every human and it’s impossible for any one to put this aside (it isn’t, asexuals are easily put down and even viewed as inferior by heteronormative folks.

3. Aces CAN Feel or Want Romance (Or Not)

Asexuality is a spectrum and as with any relationship, aces also have particular needs and wants . An asexual relationship can be romantic, despite a lack of sexual attraction. It all depends on the ace and what they’re looking for and feel. They usually identify with one of the following romantic orientations, according to AVEN:

• Heteroromantic: romantically attracted to/desires romantic relationships with the opposite gender
• Homoromantic: romantically attracted to/desires romantic relationships with the same gender
• Biromantic: romantically attracted to/desires romantic relationships with multiple genders
• Panromantic: romantically attracted to/desires romantic relationships without gender being a factor
• Aromantic: not romantically attracted to or desiring of romantic relationships at all

4. Asexual People Do Have Sex and Can Be Interested in Kink

There are asexuals who do act on their sex drive (GASP). Dispelling the myth of being ‘anti-sex’ or feeling repulsion from sex, some aces do have sex for emotional reasons even if they don’t feel sexual attraction. According to the AVEN, they fall under certain categories like:

• People who are demisexual typically need a strong emotional connection to feel sexually attracted to someone.
• People who identify as gray asexual fall between asexuality and allosexuality (meaning you feel sexually attracted to others), and usually have their personal definitions of what this means. For example, some people may experience sexual attraction in specific situations.

Although kink is seen as inherently sexual it can also be about experimenting with what excites you. Some aces do engage in kink, finding the roleplay and boundary or consent play exciting. 

5. Aces Can Have Long-Term Partners and Start Families

Despite a lack of sexual attraction to others (for some), aces can want a partner, marriage and even children, just like anyone else!

In an interview with SELF magazine, David Jay, founder of AVEN said that he knew he always wanted kids without envisioning a romantic partner.

“I think there’s a misconception that if you don’t want sex, you don’t want kids.” “But I can tell you those things are really different,” he continues.

And of course, family comes in all forms, whether they have them with partners or choose to adopt for themselves.

Bonus Fact: Anyone, and I Mean Anyone, Can Be Asexual

Although mainstream media might portray most aces as white, anyone can be ace regardless of race, gender or background. More POC aces might not have come out due to lack of representation, asexual education in curriculums or acephobia. 

But it never hurts to reach out on safe asexual spaces like Ace Reddit, Tumblr or AVEN that offer support.

Whether  you’ve heard these facts before or for the first time, heed them and show some love to the often misunderstood aces of the world this Asexual Awareness Week!