Let’s talk about steroids and body image in the gay community
We see them everywhere: they look gorgeous as they stroll down Oxford St, mince down Chapel and sparkle in the valley, looking like superheroes ripped straight from the pages of a comic book.
They rule pool parties, they lift much more than we do – they are ordinary gay men attempting to mirror the bodies of Greek gods.
We tell ourselves those bodies cannot be natural. We are mildly envious as we grub our bellies and realise that we are meaty in obviously different ways.
I was rather naive about steroids until friends around me started talking openly about their usage. I quickly realised more people than I thought have used some form of enhancement at some point in their lives.
It’s no wonder men turn to these chemical methods when we live in an image-obsessed community with a culture that demands and rewards thick hot bodies with perfect abs.
I certainly appreciate the results when I drool after some ripped daddy strolling down the street or at the gym.
But at the same time this “artificial” bulking rubs me the wrong way and I feel conflicted about what would be acceptable for myself.
I work out a fair amount, but there’s no way I can compete with men who use steroids. So I get frustrated and jealous (and now I finally understand how some guys get the amazing bodies they have).
Another part of me wants to be all idealistic and believe that having a super hunky body isn’t that important and the real measure of a man is found in his heart and his actions.
The topic is difficult to approach. Often people ask about steroid use out of pure curiosity or while attempting to justify a body they will never have. Even when concerns are honest, questions sound invasive. But it’s a conversation we must have.
Like every other gay man I’ve ever met, I too have some pretty bad body image issues. No matter how many times we tell each other we look attractive, we just don’t believe it. It makes complete sense.
When you go to any gay party, like Mardi Gras, it honestly seems like every single guy there has washboard abs and a nice juicy ass. When you look on the internet, all you see are these gorgeous men with the bodies of Greek Gods. And these guys are somehow real! Like actually real men you see out.
So why do gay men put so much pressure on themselves to “fit” into what we think is the perfect body? Why can’t we all just be happy with staying healthy? Healthy comes in so many different forms, it doesn’t have to mean a six-pack, right?
We also assume the muscular gay men are happy with their bodies, but (many of them) are not. I have a number of friends who do have the perfect body — that unattainable body, and still, they look in at themselves in the mirrors and can only see the parts of themselves they loathe.
As gay men, no matter how far we come or how good we look, we never seem to be satisfied.
When will our community stop putting so much pressure on each other to “look good”. It leaves us hating our bodies, which turns into hating ourselves. It leads us to feeling inadequate and insecure.
It leads us fearing talking to other men and getting jealous of other men, instead of basking in their glory and feeling proud of their success. Instead of supporting one another, we bring each other down. Instead of loving one another, we hate ourselves.
There is such pressure on us to look good so it’s very easy to make a wrong decision that could cost you.
If you are thinking about taking steroids, please make sure it’s for the right reasons (if there are any) and you’re not doing it because you feel you need to compete, because no matter how much you grow, your issues and insecurities will still be there unless you deal with them. Steroids is not going to make them go away.
It’s normal for people to feel a bit self-conscious about their appearance from time to time and it’s normal to have a few small things you’d like to change about your appearance if you could.
However, if you feel obsessed with your appearance or if your concerns about your appearance begin to interfere with your daily life, you should seek help.
Remember that you should love yourself, and f*** everybody else’s opinion. If you are feeling down, speak to your friends about it. If you do decide to take steroids, please go speak to your local GP about it. There are risks that people don’t talk about.
Remember that your body size, shape, or weight does not determine your worth as a person, or your identity as a man.
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‘Remember that you should love yourself, and f*** everybody else’s opinion.’ I’m pretty bloody tired of cultural critique that concludes with a list of directions to readers, as if we can just voluntarily decide not to be bound by structures that constrain us and shape our social identity and sense of self.
I didn’t take steroids per se but I took supplements that helped me lose weight. Being fat, ugly and asian in a Mardi Gras or any gay party is a triple whammy. So I worked hard by eating healthy and exercised to I possibly could, paid hundreds of dollars on supplements and prayed hard that it will give me the results I wanted. I did eventually lose the weight from 94 Kg to 58 Kg. But was I ever happy with my body? No. Did it make me more appealing to the men around me? No. I’m still ugly and asian to most people. Which brought me to realise the problem. I was trying to please people without noticing it. Now I feel older and wiser at 28, I’ve bounced my weight back to a healthy fat percentage at 68 Kg. And you what’s best? I don’t give a shit. I haven’t gone to a gay party in a long time and I feel happier being detached from the judgmental spectrum that shadow the streets of pride parades. I strut my own pride parade as I walk to work everyday. Let’s face it, the current cookie cutter mindset of the new wave of gay people has been plaguing hate within our community. So I stand for my own and what I believe in and I hope that maybe one day, some people who woke up to this reality like I did, would start walking their own pride march.
Good sentiments, but a little rich coming from the writer who appeared in a “come to the gym and get buff like me” photo story a few issues back.
+We are also told that some of these chemical ‘body enhancers’ have very seriously bad side effects: Raging unexplained bursts of anger coupled with physical violence, up to and including murder. Bouts of extreme Depression which have, unless treated by a health professional, resulted in Suicides. I think we have more than enough of our, unfair, ‘fair share’ of Suicide within our community without adding to the problem ourselves and putting ourselves at risk. In our “Size” obsessed community some of those steroids actually cause that “Most Important Part” (Your dick) to actually shrink by an incredible amount!
There is only One Way to get a truly long-lasting set of Abs, Pecs, Thighs and Butt: Regular Gym Work and use a Personal Trainer/Instructor. You don’t have to lift massive weights, you DO have to have a Regular Routine at which you actually work – and not stand, as so many of the straight guys at our gym do, admiring themselves and flexing in front of the mirrors, mirrors incidentally are not there for that purpose! they are there so that you can ensure you are doing the exercises correctly, thereby avoiding serious physical injury.
I am an oldie. Have never taken a steroid in my life, attend Gym 4 or 5 days per week – it has been proven that Men get better improvements if they do their gym work in the early morning and females in the late afternoon. For someone of my age – No, I won’t tell you because our community, like our obsession with having a body which “Would have sent Praxiteles mad”, is also obsessed with Age. Once over 30 (I’m years more than that) you may as well pack up and die. I still get probably more than my years say I should thanks to all that hard gym work.
We don’t need steroids, it takes a bit longer but the results do last.
Suicide? No Thanks! Unexplained, irrational bursts of Anger? No Thanks.
My best friend is now, in older age, suffering from chronic pain and other ailments that he contributes to the steroids and many other ‘supplements’ he took over the years.
He worked out hard and partied even harder.
When I see the guys you mention I actually feel a bit worried for them. They will suffer for it later in life.
Mine is the first openly gay generation to have easy access to steroids, gyms and the ‘gay lifestyle’ that goes with it all. So we are also the first to find out the consequences!
My advice to the next generation is take it easy, you can look good and sexy by just watching your weight and staying active.