Lesbian Couple Rejects Aussie Gay Jewish Man’s Sperm Over Gaza War

A Perth-based gay Jewish man who was helping a lesbian couple to have a child by donating his sperm revealed that they rejected him because of the ongoing war in Gaza. 

Jay Lazarus, 37, is a South African-born gay Jewish man, who was raised in Australia, and is a hairdresser by profession. 

Lazarus said that in October 2022, he decided to become a sperm donor, motivated by a selfless desire to help other same-sex couples. 

“As a gay, Jewish Australian man, I understand the complexities of starting a family and wanted to extend this opportunity to a same-sex couple, purely out of the goodness of my heart, without anything in return,” Lazarus posted on Facebook. 

Lazarus joined a group that helps same-sex couples connect with sperm donors and hit it off with a Queensland-based lesbian couple. “We embarked on this journey together. I was committed to helping them achieve their dream.”

Lazarus described the process as intensive “with months of medical tests and emotional counselling. Not to mention the vitamins and commitment to maintain my utmost health.”

In September 2023, Lazarus donated his sperm, which was frozen for further tests. “I was a step closer to my wish of helping to create a family for a couple who would otherwise not be able to.”

On October 7, 2023, Hamas launched an attack on Israel, and killed over 1,200 people. Around 100 of the 240 hostages abducted by Hamas remain in captivity in Gaza. According to the Palestinian Health Ministry in Gaza, over 23,000 Palestinians have been killed after Israel launched air and ground assaults in response to the attacks. 

Lesbian Couple Objects To Parts Of Gay Man’s Identity

In December 2023, the couple sent him a message that Lazarus said left him “reeling”. Lazarus shared the message sent by the couple (after hiding their identities), where they informed him that they had decided to end the arrangement.

In the message, the couple expressed “deep gratitude” to Lazarus and thanked him for being “absolutely amazing throughout this entire journey”. The couple said they had been “deeply affected by the world events at the moment, particularly the war between Israel and Gaza.”

“We don’t have the capacity to navigate parts of your identity in this donor relationship so we are respectfully ending this now. Ultimately with all the above, this is the only decision we can make,” the couple said, adding, “We will let Monash know in the coming days, so they can reach out to you and you can make a decision about what to do with your sperm.”

Lazarus, who got married to his partner in December 2023, expressed shock at the couple’s message. According to Lazarus, the couple knew he was Jewish right from the beginning. 

“In their words, they couldn’t go through with the process due to “ethical challenges” and their inability to “navigate parts of my identity” — my Jewishness,” Lazarus said. 

“Influenced by what they’ve been told about the conflict between Israel and Hamas, this couple preferred to go back to Square One of the sperm donor process rather than accept my Jewish sperm. Let that sink in (it took me a while, honestly).”

‘Proud To Be Gay And Jewish’

Lazarus revealed that he sat on the message from the couple for weeks before he decided to share it on social media. 

“Prejudice is still pervasive, even in progressive circles that champion “kindness and love.” We are living in an era with disturbing echoes from the ideologies of racial purity that once fuelled the Holocaust – lineage free from Jewishness.”

“Antisemitism is not just a relic of the past but a living, breathing prejudice that continues today. This couple has chosen a path, and while I can’t change their view, I refuse to let it diminish my pride or lose hope,” said Lazarus.

“I’m proud to be gay, proud to be Jewish, and proud to stand against hate,” added Lazarus.

Earlier this month, Sydney-based Jewish LGBTQI support group Dayenu said it was reconsidering its participation in this year’s Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras (SGLMG) Parade and Fair Day, citing safety concerns. In December, Michael Barnett, co-convenor of the Victoria-based Jewish LGBTQI advocacy group Aleph Melbourne, wrote an open letter saying LGBTQI Jewish persons were feeling unsafe in LGBTQI venues.