LGBT People Say Good Conversation More Important Than Physical Intimacy On First Date

A majority of LGBTQI people say a good conversation is more important than physical intimacy on a first date. And, bisexual people are three times more likely to have never gone on a queer date according to a new LGBTQIA+ DATE report.

In the “Beyond the Talking Stage” report, the dating app Hinge termed this the “Fear of Exploration” (FOE), an anxiety that bisexual people may feel due to certain factors including difficulty in telling a date that it’s their first time with someone of the same sex, they haven’t come out entirely or are still figuring out their sexual orientation. 

Almost half of the bisexual users on the app who’ve never had a queer experience were reported to feel nervous to discuss their dating history. However, 80% of queer online daters were found to be open to being someone’s first queer dating experience. 

Dating For Trans People

For trans people dating online, the report found that it was vital to over-communicate prior to a date in order to ensure that both parties had goals that aligned with one another. 

The LGBTQIA+ DATE report explained that there was an “expectation check” by 71% of trans daters which included being clear about what they wanted out of a date. These details included: monogamous, non-monogamous, casual dating etc, prior to meeting in person. 

The report also examined communication challenges experienced by queer daters before, during and after a first date. 

Open communication was a key factor in online dating that was preferred by queer people across all sexual identities, with 57% of LGBTQIA+ daters on the app stating that a lack of communication was the biggest obstacle to their dating life. 

Sex Or Conversation On First Date?

A majority of LGBTQI daters (89%) felt a first date was successful if they experienced a good conversation. In the report, people have twice the chance of going on a second date if the first date prioritised “good conversation” over physical intimacy. 

The dating app advised users who have difficulty going on second dates to avoid small talk and discuss their expectations and intentions within the app. 

Currently, there are over 323 million people worldwide using dating apps.  

Another report, which surveyed over 5,000 couples who got engaged or married within the past year, found that online dating was widely used, with over one in four respondents having met online. 

Fear Of Exploration

The growing popularity of online dating has resulted in an increased search for connections and a desire to build relationships through apps.

The report established a need for LGBTQIA+ daters to break the cycles that “keep us from deeper connection” by addressing conflict head-on, having conversations about dating intentions and being good communicators. 

Bisexual people were recommended to push past their FOE and have a first-time conversation with their potential partners early on to facilitate a smoother and more enjoyable online dating experience.