Making sure family matters

-œYou know, sometimes I think if they just see us, and see we’re a normal family, I’m sure people wouldn’t have an issue, said Fiona Little-Groves as she drove home from the train station in Melbourne’s north-eastern suburbs.

She was talking about the perception of people opposed to the Artificial Reproductive Technology Bill, currently going through crucial stages in the Victorian parliament.

Although Northcote, Prahran and St Kilda are usual rainbow family havens, Fiona and Vikki Little-Groves and their daughter Jasmine call suburban Montmorency home -” deep in the suburban mortgage belt of husband, wife, 2.5 kids and four-wheel drive.

Unlike their heterosexual neighbours, recently the couple stood on the steps of Parliament House to fight for Vikki’s rights as non-biological mother. More than that, they were fighting to see their family unit recognised by the laws of the land.

As Fiona pointed out, this legislation not only affects the couples involved with IVF, but their extended families. Fiona’s mother Margaret, who calls Jasmine the -œmiracle baby, is with the couple every step of the way.

Vikki and Fiona’s beaming six month old daughter was conceived through clinical IVF in Melbourne. Fiona, 37, the biological mother, was -œfortunate enough to be classed as medically infertile, making her one of the few lesbians to access IVF in Melbourne.

The couple have carefully stitched up the legal loose ends of their situation -” Vikki has a parenting order from the Family Court which states her rights as Jasmine’s parent.

Jasmine’s birth certificate, however, does not have Vikki’s name as -œparent, which will be possible if the legislation passes.

With parenting orders, legal relationships with non-biological family, including grandparents, may not be legally recognised.

Vikki and Fiona met 10 years ago, and six years later they decided to start a family. They weren’t keen on the idea of adoption or fostering because -œboth of us would be heartbroken if we got a child for a certain amount of time and then they had to take it away, Vikki said.
Jasmine comes from a known donor who was inspired to give sperm after seeing a program on Australian Story. He will not play a part in her life. Fiona and Vikki are adamant, however, that if or when the time comes, they will not hide from Jasmine the truth of her existence.
-œIf she’s the type of kid who needs to know where she came from, we’ll be very open and honest as to how she came about, Vikki said.

As to the discussion about who would carry the child, Fiona said she was the natural candidate.
-œVikki’s desire was probably stronger than mine to become a parent, but when it came time, it wasn’t really a discussion. It was always that I was the one who would carry the child.

Fiona said she had a -œreally good pregnancy. The couple choose private health care at the Freemason’s Hospital and said they felt -œno prejudice whatsoever throughout the whole process.

-œBy the time she was out, they’d scribbled off -˜father’ on the little card they put on the crib and gave us a card that had -˜parent’, and they put -˜baby of Vikki and Fiona Little-Groves’.

Vikki said, as the non-birth mother, she felt an equal partner.

-œThey would consult with me about the process, just as much as they consulted with Fiona and my opinion was valued just as much as Fiona’s.

The couple said they have never received negative feedback directly -” rather the law has made the process difficult.

-œWith things like the birth certificate, we had to jump through extra hoops to actually get no name on the father’s part of the birth certificate and to have Vikki put on the birth certificate as -˜informant’ so that her name actually appears on the certificate -” we had to do extra for that.

Vikki said the small details and legalities are disheartening.

-œFiona had her Medicare card out as Jasmine had her injections and I said -˜this is really sad’. It’s horrible to see Fiona and Jasmine’s name on one card and Jasmine doesn’t appear on mine, but I’ve been there every single step of the way, 110 percent.

The two are co-convenors of the group, Prospective Lesbian Parents (PLP) and have been following the ART Bill with great interest.

-œI think that it’s important in recognition of Vikki as the non-biological mother, straight off the bat, but also for other women to gain access to IVF in our state, Fiona said.

-œYou see people turning themselves inside out travelling interstate. It’s a difficult enough process as it is without having to factor in travelling interstate.

Vikki said it is equality across the board they are fighting for.

-œWe don’t necessarily want all the -˜good’ laws. In the event that Fiona and I break up, I could walk away from this relationship and not have to pay a single cent of maintenance.

-œShould the laws come in, I would have to pay maintenance which I think is how it should be.

As the family is looking to have another child early next year, the bill couldn’t be more crucial.

-œI don’t want to be classed as a single mother, because I’m not. But as far as the laws are concerned, if you had to put me in a category right now that’s where I sit, Fiona said.