I defy anyone to not enjoy a good wank over some Internet porn but when does it turn into an unhealthy addiction, where you just can’t stop doing to the detriment of everything else.
It is very easy to become addicted to porn. The brain releases masses of chemicals like serotonin and dopamine during sexual activity and it makes us feel good. The problem is the brain doesn’t know if it is porn or the real thing.
So if you are doing porn more than your boyfriend, it might get in the way of your intimacy. For intimacy to continue you are best releasing the yummy brain chemicals together – and there is the added bonus of keeping it up more if you haven’t wanked a lot.
Then there are some people who are completely addicted to porn sex where they can’t do anything else like work properly, see friends, play sport and go out and find someone. Giving up a habit, especially a sex habit, that has become an addiction, is a little more difficult because it becomes your brains way of stopping hurt, worry or loneliness. Really only you can determine if porn is an addictive habit where you are not in control any longer.
Here are some symptoms where porn addiction might be a problem: feeling out of control and hopelessness, loss of self-esteem, keeping secrets from boy friends and others, loss of interest in other activities, sleep disturbances, feeling isolated and lonely and you just can’t get out of the house like you used to. Also ask yourself these questions:
What are some things you like about your current behaviour?
What are some things you dislike?
What is your main reason for changing if indeed you want to?
What do you think will happen if you stay the same?
Imagine you decided to change, how would your life be different? How would you feel?
Porn addiction is the same as any other addiction because neuroscience will tell you that there comes a time when you are not in control of your brain as it releases those yummy chemicals into your system. Gambling, drugs or sex addictions all do the same thing.
If you think you are addicted to porn or other sex activities, where you no longer have a diverse life and where you lack control, then you can learn to reverse the situation. It is time to do something about it for your own mental health if this is the case.
So for those who love a bit of the other with Internet porn, go for it if you are in control but if you are not, or have any other unwanted addictions, seek help. Life is so much better when you are in more control and not that chemical loving brain of yours.
INFO: Gerry North is a gay counsellor and can be contacted at www.gaycounselling.vpweb.com.au
