Aussie porn star’s battle with crystal meth addiction

Skippy Baxter is a Melbourne-based porn star who has starred in over 30 films for well-known Australian and American porn companies like Bentley Race, Raging Stallion, Falcon, Hot House and RoganRichards.com. He spoke to the Star Observer about his battle with crystal meth addiction.

Tell us a little about yourself?
I used to be paediatric nurse and did that for about two and a half years. Before that I was just a regular nurse. Recently I quit that and I’ve been working in bars and cafes for the past ten months, but currently out of work.

This year I did a couple of porn movies overseas, but I’ve put that on hold while I get my shit together.

You recently revealed your meth struggle on Facebook. How did that start?
It started probably about two and a half years ago when I was at a sex party and some guys were doing it. They asked if I wanted to slam some meth, and I said ‘what is that?’

They said, ‘well you inject it.’ I said, ‘sorry no, it’s not for me’ but they talked me into it – they said ‘if you don’t like it, you don’t ever have to do it again, it’s just a once off thing. Just see if you like it.’

I tried it and it was probably the best experience I’ve ever had, it was incredible the feeling but the comedown was just horrific and they didn’t explain to me what that would mean and I swore I’d never touch it again.

But everywhere that I went to have sex it was just prominent, everybody was doing it so I kind of got swept up into the shitstorm of using it.

That’s kind of how it blew out of control. I kept it hidden for about a year, from everybody – my partner, my family. Then it got to the point where I couldn’t have sex without it. I never smoked, I only injected – smoking never really did anything to me, it just made me awake but injecting got me really high and horny.

How long were you doing it before you realised you had a problem?
I realised I had a problem about three or four months ago I was using it every day. I wasn’t using it for the normal sexual encounters, it was more of an escaping every day life and I needed it to function really so that’s when I knew I had a big problem.

I kind of fell into a blackhole and didn’t really know how to get out of it, (I) lost a lot of weight, started to get paranoid, pushed everyone aside, my family, my friends, – my partner. And I realised ‘holy shit, I’ve got a problem here and I’ve gotta fix it’.

My parents actually got in contact with a rehab place called Bradshaw House in Victoria, and she rang me one day. It was probably the best phone call I ever got because at that point I was about to commit suicide because I couldn’t handle feeling like shit and depressed all the time. I didn’t know how to get out of it so she pulled me out of the hole.

Have you relapsed since then?
I have relapsed once for a period of time before I decided to get back on the horse. I guess relapse is a part of recovery but I never thought I would relapse. I thought once I got to rehab and sorted my personal stuff out, and my emotional shit that I would be able to push forward and resist.

But life happens, and I kind of found my way back into that circle which I’m now not a part of anymore. I’m doing more narcotics anonymous meetings and trying to get spirituality and in touch with – it might sound a bit wanky – but a higher power, not any religion of any sort but something spiritual to get me through and back on the right track.

You said you put your porn career on hold – it hasn’t contributed to it at all?
No, no, interestingly enough it never came into play. I was always quite professional, I never used drugs before a shoot or weeks and weeks before a shoot because part of my contract was I had to have a body that was not smaller than when they signed me up.

I had to maintain it so it never came into play. But when I came back (to Australia), it did. I got straight back into getting high and sex parties and all that stuff.

And now I’m noticing it’s everywhere, six months ago it wasn’t. But now everybody is doing pnp and getting high and having sex.

You think it’s getting worse?
Definitely, it’s definitely getting worse. And not just in Australia, it’s even overseas. My partner was saying everywhere he was there was all PnP stuff, all these parties going on. He said it would be hard for me if I went overseas because it’s everywhere.

What is it about ice that makes it so hard to quit?
I think because it’s more available than any other drug, it’s cheapish, the high you get from it – slamming especially – is very out of this world. It’s more than I’ve ever experienced with any other drug but at the same time it can have its ugly side.

Do you think it’s possible for some people to use it without it becoming a problem?
I don’t have an addictive personality, but I think if you’re using it a couple of times – it depends how you use it too, if you inject it you’re more likely to get addicted than puff. I’ve known guys who have puffed for years but can go months and months and months. It depends on the person, and the reason why you’re using it.

Do you still think meth about a lot?
I think about the negative impact it has on my life. Whenever I think I wanna use, I think about when my partner (fellow porn star Rogan Richards) found me at a sex party high as a kite, and the look on his face – it was something I had never seen before, it was very heartbreaking. And I think about how it hurt my family and how I have no friends anymore. And I’m pretty much known in the Melbourne gay scene as a druggy. I just think of that stuff and it stops me from using really.